"The "dark night of the soul" in a spiritual context refers to a period of intense inner turmoil, spiritual desolation, and doubt, often experienced as a necessary step on the path to deeper spiritual growth and transformation"

Dominique Saved My Life
Dominique Mainon died in Jan, 2012. I was headed into that “mass of men leading lives of quiet desperation” until she detoured me into volunteering for a layoff in 2003 and divorce in 2005. She’s partly why I contracted from 2004 to 2014, a ten-year path of exploration, discovery and
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I was halfway through my "Dark Night Of The Soul" before I even knew the term. The onset was gradual so its start is a guess...perhaps 2011 at Aetna in Hartford, CT, which makes sense because that's when I gave up on women and "career" aspirations. The ending is harder... perhaps 2017/2018 after my sister killed herself and left me with our mother.

In 2013 I visited a local psychic and after thirty minutes she sighed and said, "There's nothing I can tell you about your future except to change your path somehow".

Then my father died in 2014, I moved back to Idaho to set my mom and sister on a positive path but both rejected it, preferring to drown in the sorrows of the past. Three years later my sister suicided and I was back in Idaho for my mom and to clean up three generations of hoarding.

Normies killed my sister. They are petty, dishonest people and I read through a few hundred pages of several lawsuits she'd filed. Many discoverable identities who could be dealt justice but I burned it all. It would be too easy to obsess over it.

The internet was enormous fun for a couple decades but now it's mostly dead to me. Transformed into a giant collection of petty, ignorant, resentful high school-ish cliques spewing hate for political gain.

I'm lucky I got those prime twenty years of fun and smiles.
But all things come to an end, even empires.
I suppose that I might believe
in people again, someday
but it's difficult
to imagine.
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A more esoteric thing I've learned
is that

  1. some things can't be fixed
  2. other things can be fixed
  3. and a few things can be fixed but shouldn't