Dating

My dating strategy from 2006 to 2008. I met over 400 women through six venues and kept a spreadsheet to find the best approach. But eventually I realized that I just wasn't rich, handsome or personable enough for most, and most of the rest were bland, which left three matches.  I dated Janet from 2008 to 2010 and then I was done.  Too much time and money on uncomfortable dates, their paranoia, bad sex.   I was MGTOW years before I knew the term and my last date was Sept 2010.  :)  American women are high effort and risk/low reward so I quit spending time on them.  This graph represents about 10-15 million similar men...

I dropped my career aspirations about that time, too.  Too many unpleasant people with resentments, deceptions, sabotage.  I don't miss it.

Friday June 09, 2006

Online Dating Paranoia, The Movie

I created a four-part strategy for meeting and dating women over this past two months -

• I signed up for four online personal ad sites(yahoo, match.com, alt.com, plentyoffish.com)
• After many conversations, I identified three or four bars which cater to women in my age range
• I signed up for EventsAndAdventures.com
• I signed up for ItsJustLunch.com

Each has a strength and weakness, although I didn't identify them well at first. They target four different social groups and require different contributions of time, money, machismo and compromise from me. Consider them as a spread of photon torpedoes. I only need a direct hit from one. Well, not quite. I'd like to build up a portfolio of six or seven women to date for one year. My goal is to meet at least 100 women in the next 18 months, date at least 50 of them, and have sex with at least 10 of those.

My lack of dating or sexual experience during college led me to accept the "easiest path" in romantic relationships because I lacked the experience and confidence to do otherwise. Which led me to where I am today.

ItsJustLunch.com is expensive in "per woman" exposure, but it's a matchmaking service run primarily by women, so it could yield unexpected results. Judgement still pending

EventsAndAdventures.com was my largest capital outlay, but it should put me in contact with 50-100 women in the 35-45 age range each month. That's much higher than any other strategy. I'll have a better idea of its effectiveness in 48 hours.

The personals ads are cheap and easy, but I'm finding that they attract a certain type of person - timid and overly optimistic. Yesterday I realized that I'll never find someone like Dominique on Yahoo Personals (although she was on alt.com). My hit ratio is abysmal so far, less than a 2% response rate. Heck, I got more dates in high school when I was in the bottom 30% of desirable men. I'm easily in the top 50% now, probably the top 20% based on my income, temperament and physical condition. I suspect that personal ads have a skewed userbase or create a sense of false expectation. I'll probably give up on them soon.

I could be bad at writing the right ad or perhaps my photographs aren't attractive enough. I tried several different approaches and perhaps fifteen different photos. But a hit ratio of less than 2% is so poor that I can only believe that many other male ads are loaded with fraud or the female users are too specific in what they're searching for.

Many female ads specify "honesty and integrity" in a man, but as near as I can tell, women don't actually respond to it. I had dinner with a 71-year man this week and he trashed my conceptions of women with a personal demonstration. He successfully gamed them with false compliments and vague offers of money and gifts; not once, not twice, but FOUR times that night and walked out with a chick half his age. It was illuminating in a sad, sick way.

Bars - okay, my hit ratio is much higher here. I met six women at Daniel's this week and two at Hector's, and I passed up at least four or five clear openings. This requires boldness, perception and timing on my part, but my skill is much higher in only a few weeks.. It's definitely looking better than the personal ads.

Now that I've identified the problem with personal ads, I'm debating on alternative strategies. I'm attracted to bold, artistic women. I might trying hitting conventions, chamber of commerce mixers, the art walk shows, museum shows or book signings, based on a little research.