A 10-step guide to surviving the Hypocalypse.

  • Don't play football
  • Don't play basketball
  • Don't play soccer
  • Avoid stairs, sell all multi-level homes
  • Hire a local kid to mow your lawn
  • Cancel your gym membership
  • No concerts or sports events
  • Trade your bike for a Segway
  • Don't debate politics
  • Watch a LOT of television

Remember, being a couch potato is now a survival skill.