Meanderings

I'm currently on Credit Cycle Plan C. Tonight I recalculated Plan A from 2015 and was a bit shocked that it showed me holding $600k in physical gold. But of course, as usual, someone else derailed it. My family in this case, my suicided sister in particular.

I don't blame my sister. She had quite a difficult life and most likely died a virgin at 54. She was resented and sabotaged most of her life by shitbag normies in spite of her four-year accounting degree, Masters degree and CPA.

Or perhaps because of them.

Last night I met a sales manager twenty years younger touting the Carnegie book as his source of success. He was quite obnoxious and couldn't grasp that i just don't care about an artificial strategy to "win" with women and in business. Been there, done that. It's ironic he couldn't see that nobody else wanted to be his friend so he ended up talking to me.

I just don't care. About titles, promotions, women, new car, a bigger house. All I need is one more NON-ANNOYING gig for a few years.

I keep a mental benchmark of famous people I've outlived. For instance, Michael Jackson, Prince, Vanity, Donna Summer died younger. I've lived longer than Hemingway and in 357 days I'll pass Hunter S. Thompson. Have you ever wonder why they died in places like Ketchum, Idaho, Woody Creek, Colorado, Naples, Florida or Chanhassen, Minnesota?

I don't even hate most people. It's too much work and most are saddled with more moral conflicts, enemies and resentments than me because I deliberately purged my life fifteen years ago.

It's how the hand played out. I still feel pretty good about having no kids. I can't see that changing after forty years.

"Spirits move me
Every time I'm near you
Whirling like a cyclone in my mind."